“So he, trembling and astonished, said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” Then the Lord said to him, “Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”” Acts 9:6
I would encourage you to read Acts 9:5 first. It will help you to understand this part because we cannot do what God wants us to do without first knowing Him personally.
Apostle Paul spent his youth seeking to know God. He diligently searched the Scriptures, memorized the Law, and was trained under the respected rabbi Gamaliel (Acts 22:3) to become a respected Pharisee. Yet when the God he had devoted his life to, who stood before him on the road to Damascus, Saul (Paul) failed to recognize God by asking, “Who are you, Lord?”
The following phrase describes Paul’s response after he encountered the LORD Jesus and was confronted with the sins he had justified through his zeal for God: “So he, trembling and astonished…”
For us to understand Paul’s response after the lies he believed crumbled before him, we first need to understand what drove him to persecute the church.
Saul was so zealous for God that he was willing to imprison and even kill those whom he believed were opposing God. As a Pharisee, he was well acquainted with God’s Law. He understood that under the Old Testament, anyone who led Israel to follow another god was to be put to death (Deuteronomy 13:5). In Saul’s mind, the LORD Jesus was a false god, and His followers were leading God’s people astray. Everything Saul did was according to the deception he believed was faithfulness to God, just as many Christians have done in the past and even continue to do today. Their indoctrination becomes more important than sincerely desiring and asking the LORD Jesus to know Him more personally and intimately.
Yet when the absolute truth of God was manifold before Saul, he became blind to this world, yet for the first time, he began to truly see God (John 9:35-41). So when the lies he had believed crumbled before him, Saul began to experience what God had spoken through the prophet Ezekiel:
“Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good; and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight, for your iniquities and your abominations.” Ezekiel 36:31
Saul was trembling because he realized the great sins he had committed before God and could not believe what he had done against God Himself. The Greek word translated “trembling” is “tremō,” which means “to fear” or “to be afraid.” Paul is a man who is deeply familiar with God’s Word and devoted his life to serving Him with great zeal. He also knew that those who oppose God bring judgment upon themselves. The one who believed he understood God’s will discovered that he had been fighting against God all along. He knew the judgment he deserved (1 Timothy 1:12-16). He realized that everything he had been doing was terribly wrong before the very God to whom he decided to commit his life.
This is the natural response that every Christian should have when the Spirit of the LORD convicts us of our sin. We acknowledge our wrongdoing and repent of it.
When we begin to comprehend the greatness of God’s love, our first response is not naturally to rejoice but to loathe ourselves for what we have done. We realize that it was our sins that nailed the LORD Jesus Christ to the cross. Only after we recognize the depth of our sin can we truly appreciate the depth of His grace and mercy. Paul understood this truth, as he later wrote:
“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
I also want to share some pastor interpretations of Paul’s first response. They suggest that Saul was trembling because of the heavenly vision itself. Throughout Scripture, many people responded with fear when they encountered God’s glorious presence. Remember when the Israelites behold God’s glory, they all tremble, and when they heard the voice of God at Mount Sinai, they were so terrified that they pleaded with Moses, “… You speak with us, and we will hear; but let not God speak with us, lest we die” (Exodus 20:19).
The second emotion Saul felt was that he was astonished. The Greek word translated “astonished” is “thambēō,” which means “to be astonished” or “to be amazed.” Many people in the Bible experienced the same astonishment when they encountered God’s presence. Moses was astonished when God called him from the burning bush that was not consumed (Exodus 3:2-6). Ezekiel was so overwhelmed by his encounter with the glory of God that he sat astonished among the captives for seven days (Ezekiel 3:15).
Likewise, Saul was astonished because he could not fathom that God had manifested Himself to him and was speaking directly to him. Many rabbis of Paul believed that because God had been silent for centuries, He no longer spoke directly to people as He had spoken to the prophets in the Scriptures.
Paul was awed because the very God who had spoken to the people he had spent his entire life reading about and studying was now speaking directly to him. What Saul had only read about in the Scriptures had now become his own testimony. Throughout the book of Acts, Paul repeatedly recounted his encounter with the risen LORD Jesus (Acts 22:6–16; Acts 26:12–18), boldly declaring that the tomb is empty and that Jesus is risen! As he later wrote to Corinthians,
“Then last of all He was seen by me also, as by one born out of due time.” I Corinthians 15:8
It is encouraging and inspiring to hear other believers’ testimonies of how God has moved in their lives, but it is far greater when we ourselves ask the LORD Jesus to let us experience Him personally. Our encounter with the LORD Jesus becomes our identity that no one can refute.
I want to encourage you with the life of the apostle Paul. He persecuted the church of God, yet despite his great sins, God still chose to reveal Himself to him. If God was willing to reveal Himself to a man who had opposed Him so fiercely, how much more will He reveals Himself to those who sincerely seek Him with all their heart? Isn’t Jesus saying,
“He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.”” John 14:21
Now our personal encounter with the LORD Jesus marked the beginning of our walk with God. It was the beginning of knowing God Himself personally. God knows that we cannot become effective witnesses until we first see, hear, and know Him. How can we faithfully testify about someone we do not know? How can we speak convincingly about what we have never personally experienced?
This is why the LORD Jesus first manifested Himself to Paul before sending him to preach. Paul’s message is not based on what he had studied or learned from his rabbis. It is based on his personal encounter with the LORD Jesus Christ. As it is written,
“But I make known to you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man. For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but it came through the revelation of Jesus Christ.” Galatians 1:11-12
All the apostles and disciples, and even many Christians to this day, were willing to die as martyrs because their personal encounter and relationship with the LORD Jesus had become an absolute truth that they could neither renounce nor deny. Even death was not something they feared because they knew Whom they believed and they personally encountered the LORD Jesus Whom they proclaimed.
This is the second most important question that every Christian should ask after they have known the LORD Jesus: “Lord, what do You want me to do?”
The conversion of the apostle Paul is, in my opinion, one of the greatest miracles recorded in Scripture. I can personally testify that it took me years before I asked God the same questions that Paul asked. Yet immediately after encountering the LORD Jesus, Paul not only desired to know who the LORD is, but he also desired to know the LORD’s will for his life at the same time.
Paul’s response is like Isaiah’s response: “Here am I! Send me” (Isaiah 6:8). David embraced God’s calling over his life (1 Samuel 16:12-13), and Nehemiah willingly left his position to accomplish God’s purpose for Jerusalem (Nehemiah 2:1-5). They did not resist God’s calling but embrace it with willingness.
When a Christian asks God, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” It reveals the heart of a child of God. Children naturally desire to imitate the one they love. Studies have shown that when children see their parents passionately love their work, they often develop the same passion and even pursue the same vocation. Just as children often inherit the passions of their parents, we begin to inherit the desires of our heavenly Father. Because we love the LORD Jesus, we want to join Him in His work. Our prayer becomes, “Father, what can I do to be part of Your plan and expand Your Kingdom here on earth?”
This is exactly what the LORD Jesus said,
“Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner. For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself does; and He will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel.” John 5:19-20
How can your heart not be stirred to be part of your heavenly Father’s work when you see how greatly He loves His marvelous works? As we abide in Him, we begin to know His heart and share in His passion. His passion becomes contagious, stirring our own hearts. The more we know Him, the more we desire to join Him in what He is doing.
A Christian who lives only to pursue his own desires reveals that he has little concern for his Father’s heart. They may be believers, but they live no differently than what James says.
“You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble!” James 2:19
They believe, yet there is no intimate relationship with the Father. A true child of God desires to know the Father’s heart, shares in His passions, and longs to be part of His purposes. As it is written:
“Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.” I John 2:3-6
How can we claim that we believe in God or truly know Him if we do not walk in His commandments?
It is impossible for a Christian who is continually abiding in the LORD Jesus for his heart’s desires not to change.
The longer we abide in Christ, the more our desires become aligned with His. God is a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29). As we continually remain in His presence, He gradually consumes our selfish desires and realigns our hearts’ posture to become like His. As we experience His goodness and faithfulness, we willingly lay down our own will to Him.
For some Christians, the transformation of the heart happens in a single day, just as it did with Paul. Just like what happened to my pastor when he gave his life to Christ and testified that he asked God to give him a burden to win souls, and God answered that prayer overnight, and God has greatly used this godly man to lead many souls to Christ.
For others, the transformation is more gradual. Moses initially hesitated and made excuses when God called him (4:10-13). Yet later, the same Moses was testified by God as “faithful in all His house” (Numbers 12:7; Hebrews 3:2, 5). Moses eventually embraced God’s calling over his life and remained faithful to it.
Whether our hearts are transformed immediately like Paul or gradually like Moses, the evidence of someone who truly knows God is that their heart begins to realign to God’s heart. They no longer live for themselves but for God, giving their lives to fulfill His will and purpose over them (2 Corinthians 5:15).
Then the LORD Jesus gave him three directions. The LORD Jesus responded to Paul by saying,
“Arise,
and go into the city,
and you will be told what you must do.
These three directions from the LORD Jesus reveal a pattern that God often uses before entrusting us with His work. They are God’s preparation to shape our character before He establishes us in the position He has called us to do.
Joshua served under Moses for many years before God appointed him to lead Israel (Exodus 24:13, Numbers 27:18-23, Deuteronomy 31:14, 23). David was anointed as king long before he was crowned (1 Samuel 16:13; 2 Samuel 5:3).
God often works the same way in our lives. He directs us one step at a time rather than revealing His entire plan all at once.
When Jesus instructed Paul to “Arise,” that is what he needed the most. The Greek word translated “arise” is “anistēmi,” which means “to rise up,” “to raise up from lying down” (Matthew 9:5-6), and “to stand up” (John 14:31) and raised from the dead (Mark 5:41). Throughout the Gospels, this is a word the LORD often used when commanding His servants and those whom He miraculously healed to get up and walk.
This one-word instruction was exactly what Paul needed to hear. Throughout his epistles and testimonies, Paul never hid how deeply he regretted his former conduct. He repeatedly reminded the churches that he had persecuted the church of God (Acts 22:4-5; Acts 26:9-11; Galatians 1:13; 1 Corinthians 15:9; 1 Timothy 1:13-15). Although he rejoiced in God’s grace, he never forgot the seriousness of what he had done.
Let me put it this way. For many of us who come to the LORD Jesus after living a very sinful life before our conversion, it is often easier to forgive those who caused us pain and suffering than it is to forgive ourselves.
Apostle Peter wept bitterly after denying the LORD Jesus three times. The LORD Jesus after His resurrection, reaffirmed Peter’s love by asking him three times, “Do you love Me?” to restore him, strengthen him, and recommission Peter to the work He had entrusted to him (John 21:15–17). In the same way, the LORD did with the apostle Paul. Paul loved God, and he is God’s chosen vessel to bear His name (Acts 9:15). The LORD Jesus knew the burden Paul carried, just as He knew Peter’s sorrow after denying Him. Before Paul could fulfill God’s purpose for his life, he first had to arise from the guilt and shame that came from realizing what he had done. He could not remain on the ground condemning himself.
As Paul later wrote,
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” II Corinthians 5:17-21
I want to encourage you to do what Paul learned to do: ”…forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.” (Philippians 3:13) God did not save us so that we would remain imprisoned by guilt and shame. Shame is one of the enemy’s greatest weapons. He uses guilt to keep us trapped in our past so that we never walk in God’s calling over our lives.
God says that He remembers our sins no more (Hebrews 8:12; 10:17). So, if God no longer remembers your sins, why do you continue to remember what God has already chosen to forget?
Arise from your sin. Arise from your guilt. Arise from your shame. Arise from your past. Walk in the newness of life that Christ has given you, and fulfill the calling. He has prepared for you. So, Arise!!
Then, LORD Jesus’s second instruction to Paul is to go into the city. I find this instruction very interesting and, perhaps, uncomfortable not only for Paul but also for the brethren who lived in that city. The LORD Jesus often directs His people to accomplish His purposes, but He frequently leads them down a path they never expected.
Paul had no idea how he would be received by the very people he had come to persecute and destroy. Likewise, when the LORD instructed Ananias to go to Paul, he was hesitant because he had heard of all the harm Paul had done to the saints in Jerusalem (Acts 9:13–15). The fear and uncertainty were not only on Paul’s side but also among the brethren.
Yet it is amazing how God works. The very city Paul intended to destroy became the place God used as his refuge. It became the place where God began to realign Paul’s thoughts and his will with His own. It also became the place where God introduced Paul to His real household. The people Paul thought were his enemies became his new family. The brethren he intended to imprison and kill became the very people the LORD Jesus used to recommit his life to God. Later, those same brethren whom Paul had sought to destroy became the very people who risked their own lives to save him from those trying to kill him because of his conversion (Acts 9:23–25).
Only the people of God could fulfill the LORD’s third instruction to Paul: “you will be told what you must do.” God chose His church to declare to Paul concerning His will for his life, to strengthen him, and to prepare him for the work. He had called him to do so. We see this when God sent Ananias to Paul. Through Ananias, God restored Paul’s sight, declared His will concerning Paul’s calling, baptized him, and to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Acts 9:17–18; Acts 22:12–16).
The third instruction is where many Christians struggle the most.
We love hearing God speak directly to us regarding His purpose for our lives, but when our pastors, elders, or faithful and respected brethren tell us what we must do, we often do not like it. We do not like to submit. We do not like to wait. We do not like to be corrected or called out. We often prefer to do things our own way. Yet this is where our patience is tested. This is where our character is shaped to fit the position God has called us to. Every calling requires a certain kind of character. For example, if God calls someone to be a pastor, the knowledge of Scripture alone is not enough. Because knowledge puffs up but love edifies (1 Corinthians 8:1). He must also possess the character that God requires of a shepherd (1 Timothy 3:1–7; Titus 1:5–9). When it came to the knowledge of the Scriptures, Paul was already well trained. But his character still needed to be established because the very people he was going to minister to were just like him. They were people who needed God’s mercy, grace, and a second chance. Before Paul and Peter could preach God’s mercy, he first had to experience it himself.
I want to conclude with this thought.
Why are so many Christians no longer going to church? What is the true purpose of the church?
“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25
Many Christians come to church expecting to be served. But the LORD Jesus taught us the opposite.
“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”” Mark 10:45
If we are following Christ, then we are also called to serve, not to be served.
When will we become God-centered instead of self-centered? When will we stop asking, “What can the church do for me?” and begin asking, “Lord, what do You want me to do? and “Lord, how can You use me to serve Your body?”
To God be all the glory!
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