Matthew‬ ‭10:39‬ ‭

“He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.” – Matthew‬ ‭10:39‬ ‭

Jesus teaches that following Him begins when we choose Him over ourselves, over our desires, and even over our closest relationships. He calls us to place Him first above our family, above personal dreams, and above our own understanding. He invites us to take up our cross and follow Him. This is where true discipleship begins. Then Jesus goes deeper. He says, “He who finds his life will lose it.” These words confront the way many of us live, and His words challenge us to reflect on the way many of us live, the way we plan, and the way we decide what matters most.

How many of us decide to get married and build a family before building an intimate relationship with God and seeking His will for that marriage?

How many of us enter university and choose a career before asking God which path He has prepared for us?

How many of us start a business without ever asking whether it is truly God’s will?

How many of us decide how many children we want without asking God how many children He desires to entrust to us?

How many of us place family above what God has called us to do?

How many of us assume that because we are gifted or successful in a ministry, it must be the ministry God has chosen for us, without ever asking Him?

And then we wonder why life feels dull. Why we feel lost. Why we feel it unfulfilled. Why the fire is gone.

Why there is no direction, no passion, and no real sense of purpose.

We keep moving, but deep down something feels off, empty, and heavy. It feels like we are breathing but have no life at all.

The truth is God was never sought first. His will was never valued first or made the priority.

This helps us understand what the Lord Jesus is teaching to all of us when He says, “He who finds his life will lose it.” The LORD Jesus answered why so much chaos exists in our lives. It comes down to one root issue, “self-seeking instead of God-seeking.” The danger is that self-seeking does not always look wrong. It often disguises itself as wisdom, self-care, or even maturity. And many of us don’t even notice it.

Pay close attention to the messages that surround you, especially in our generation. Many of them sound normal, but they stand in direct opposition to the Word of God.

“Find yourself.”

“What do you get out of this?”

“How does this serve you?”

“What are you gaining from this?”

“Will this fulfill you?”

“Will this satisfy you?”

“Will this benefit you?”

We hear them in movies, in music, on social media, and even from the people we care aboutmost. These voices are loud. But they are not the voice of our LORD Jesus. And if we are not careful, they will slowly shape our decisions, our priorities, and the way we define life itself.

The LORD Jesus does not ask us what we gain; He asks us what we are willing to lay down.

Now that we understand there is no life to be found in the life this world offers unless God is sought first and His counsel is set above our own.

When the Lord Jesus says, “Whoever loses his life for My sake will find it,” He is not speaking only of physical death but of a life willingly laid down in honor and submission to God.

This truth is clearly seen in the lives of the apostles.

Apostle Paul declares, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). Paul did not live for himself, nor for his own ambition. He laid down his life for the Lord Jesus, counting everything else as loss for the sake of knowing Christ.

Apostle Peter also testifies to this same calling when he writes, “Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind… so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God” (1 Peter 4:1–2). Though Peter had many shortcomings, he learned to deny himself and to choose the life appointed for him by the Lord Jesus.

These men of God did not die to fulfill themselves; they died to fulfill the calling of God upon their lives. This is the death the LORD Jesus calls us to, the death of our own will, our own desires, and our own ambitions. Because whatever governs our life becomes our master.

If our own will leads us, then we are not living for God but for ourselves. The Lord Jesus set the perfect example for all who belong to God. He said, “I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me” (John 6:38). He also testified, “The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My own authority… and the works that I do are not My own, but the Father who dwells in Me” (John 14:10). In this, the LORD Jesus shows us how a child of God is meant to live not according to our own will, but according to the will of the Father. Even the Holy Spirit, whom the Father sends, does not speak on His own authority but speaks what He hears and glorifies God (John 16:13–14).

Setting aside our will before the will of God is the fulfillment of the first and greatest commandment: to love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind, and with all our strength (Mark 12:30). Yet this is the commandment many of us overlook. To love God in this way means that He must be above what our heart desires and above what our mind reasons. It means that the will of God must come before our own will, before our emotions, before our thoughts, and before our understanding. For love for God is not proven by words alone, but by obedience and submission to His will.

When we place God’s will above ourselves, we do not lose life, but we find it. Not because God seeks to control us, but because He calls us to trust Him and to depend on Him. The Lord invites us to acknowledge Him in all our ways and to seek His counsel before we take our steps. God desires to walk with us in every part of our lives, for apart from Him we can do nothing.

This truth remains certain: the Lord knows us better than we know ourselves. He formed us and understands the thoughts and intentions of our hearts. He knows what will bring us true joy and the desires He has placed within us, free from the noise of the world and the desires of the flesh. When we commit our way to the Lord, we do not lose ourselves. We are led into the life for which we were created. As it is written, “Those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them.”